Connie A. Baker, MA LPC
Professional Information
- Licensed Professional Counselor
- Clinical supervisor
- Masters Level University Instructor
- Seminar Teacher
- Conference Speaker
- Writer
- Trauma recovery specialist
- Trained Life Coach
Connie’s Bio:
I have a Master of Arts in Counseling degree and I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor in Portland, Oregon. When I’m not working long hours at my private practice, I have been a counseling instructor at a local university, a seminar teacher, conference speaker, clinical supervisor, writer, trauma recovery specialist, published author and trained life coach.
Want to know more? Read this interview with Connie
A Look at Connie’s Professional Life and Perspective
Q: Connie, you have said your life’s mission is to help educate, validate and advocate for religious abuse survivors. What inspired you to do this?
A: When I went through life shattering spiritual abuse in 1990, I was completely alone and desolate. NO ONE knew what it was. No one was talking about it. There were very few resources for my recovery.
I don’t want anyone to EVER go through the fallout of religious abuse as alone and confused as I was.
Q: Religious abuse (or as you sometimes call it, spiritual abuse) is not talked about much and is an uncommon specialty. How do you deal with that?
A: Yes, it is uncommon, but only because it’s a topic that is not talked about much. Religious abuse happens every day in multiple settings to thousands of people, but as a culture, we don’t yet have a good framework or common language to understand it. It is my life’s mission to help create that framework and common language.
Q: Do you really think religious abuse happens that much?? Doesn’t it just happen just in weird cults?
A: Yes, it happens that much and no, it happens in all kinds of contexts. Unfortunately, it happens often in “respectable” churches. It happens in religious families, schools, missions, marriages, non-profits and in churches, synagogues and mosques. Anywhere there is a religious institution, abuse can happen.
Q: What have you done so far to help survivors? And how do you plan to continue that work?
A: So far, I have counseled survivors, created an online course, held conferences, seminars and webinars, written articles and blogs and started a Facebook group. My book, Traumatized By Religious Abuse-Discover the Cultures and Systems of Religious Abuse and Reclaim Your Personal Power is available on Amazon (HERE) and I hope to continue to educate and validate spiritual abuse survivors and advocate for them from ANY platform possible!!
Do any of you good people have a place that you would like to invite me to speak or interview? Just let me know!
Q: Do you have an agenda to “get people back to God (or church)”? Or an agenda to get them away from religion in general?
A: When I address this topic, it is as a mental health therapist who specializes in trauma recovery. My agenda is for your brain, your heart, your mind and your soul to heal and find wholeness. I know from watching first hand that this happens a lot of different ways.
Religious abuse survivors have usually been pressured, bullied, manipulated and coerced. They have had religious ideas leveraged against them. They have often given away their power. I have NO agenda or desire to dictate spiritual terms or re-truamatize anyone. Here is what I know: a big part of healthy recovery is to take back your power and decide for yourself what you want and where you want your life to go. That means YOU get to decide what to do with your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual life.
Q: Why does this topic matter so much to you?
A: Please click here for my story. THAT will explain everything.
A Look at Connie’s (semi-boring) Personal Life
Q: So, Connie, to start us off, tell us a bit about you.
A: Where to start… I’m known for being a bit irreverent, talking too fast, talking about the elephant in the room, going on rants about… about… whatever and striking up conversations about things that most people don’t like to talk about.
Q: I’m beginning to notice the idea “talking” used frequently here and in your bio… what else do you do in your free time?
A: What free time?? (Seriously!) OK, here’s my list:
Read
Travel across the globe on a regular basis (OK. That’s a lie. I only did that when I was young. Now I’m old and need more money.)
Spend time with my hilarious, handsome and good-hearted husband (That is not a lie.)
Eat Mexican food and drink Margaritas on Friday nights
Mock pompous and arrogant religious leaders (often while eating Mexican food and drinking Margaritas on Friday nights)
Read
Hike in my amazing Pacific Northwest
Netflix in my fuzzy blue bath robe
Spend time with some of the most quality human beings that have ever walked this earth (who are actually willing to be called my best friends)
Hang with my remarkable, beautiful grown children who keep me honest, humble and happy
… and I read.
Q: Rumor has it you can be a bit of a nerd in certain areas. Are you willing to share those areas?
A: Are you judging me? I’m OK with that. I love reading. (Have I mentioned that?) I have only read the Harry Potter books 8 times and seen the movies (maybe) 10 times. I read Lord of the Rings many, many times LONG before it was trendy to do so and have read those books and seen those movies more than the Harry Potter series. (And I was ever so happy with what Peter Jackson did to the movies!).
Since the brilliant invention of Netflix and Amazon Prime, I watch documentaries to my heart’s content. Just about anything related to history, sociology, cultural anthropology, psychology, human behavior and dysfunctional religion will catch and keep my attention.
Q: What truly crazy things have you done in your life?
A: Well, at 8 years old I was driving my dad’s Honda 90 around the rural Southern Oregon hills. At 10 years old I decided jumping off barn roofs was entertaining. When I went to Honduras at 15 years old, I used all the good sense that adolescents are known for and jumped 30 feet off of a tree branch into a jungle river (without checking the water first). Should I continue? At 26 years old I worked Christian retail. And survived. (That’s the crazy part!)
THEN I married a pastor, this completely fits the category of crazy, but at least I checked the water first. (At this point, you should have serious concerns about my mental state…) Then after I was married with children, I decided to go to grad school, do an internship and direct a children’s choir while being a mom – all simultaneously (Actually, that was more stupid than crazy.) I’ve spoken, preached and taught on religious abuse – sometimes in actual churches. (Seriously, I’ve done that – what woman do you know that has done that??)
Q: Anything else we need to know about you?
A: Likely not, but here’s a few more just for fun.
I’m a cancer survivor. (OK, I guess that isn’t particularly “fun”.)
Music and theater bring me a lot of happiness. (That was a bit more fun.)
Besides talking fast (see above), I tend to eat fast, think fast, drive fast… you get the picture.
My husband says I live life like I’m killing snakes – fast, highly focused, intense and like my life depends on it (The way he said it, it made it seem like a bad thing.)
The last couple decades have been spent learning to slow down, go with the flow, savor and relax.
I tend to see the beauty and good in other human beings.