My Blog
Recent Blog posts
For Religious Abuse Survivors-How to Handle the Holidays-Part 3 -5 Quick Holiday Survival Tips – #3 is Crucial!
If you are a religious abuse survivor, the holidays can feel like… a big lump of coal in your stockinga burnt-out strand of Christmas lightsa big slice of great-grandma’s fruitcake. (OK. No more cheesy metaphors. I promise. Kind of.) But really. We can feel alone and...
Self-Care Options
Self-care is an essential aspect of maintaining one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It involves making deliberate choices and taking actions to prioritize your health and happiness.Here are some self-care ideas to pick from: Remember that self-care isn't...
My Fellow Humans
My dear fellow humans, We are hurting. We feel alone. We are uncertain. We are scared. We are angry. We are restless. We are grieving. We are “done”. And most of us, during this pandemic, can be any combination of these at any given moment. This season is stretching...
Connie’s Story
My story begins in a family with parents who loved me, supported me, cared about me, and were conscientious with their parenting. I know how valuable that is. Many people I know would be deeply grateful to have parents like mine, and I am most certainly grateful! But...
I. AM. ENOUGH.
Dear Survivor, Perfectionism is a liar and a thief. It makes big promises to us. It promises happiness worth love acceptance approval control belonging and peace. It ends up stealing our joy our satisfaction our contentment our connection with others our integrity our...
How the Church Causes Unnecessary Hurt for Divorced Women
When their marriage began to fall apart, she went to the church leadership for help. The leadership questioned whether Sarah was telling the truth about the abuse. Rick seemed like “such a nice guy”.
6 Reasons Why It’s OK To Tell My Story Of Abuse (Even if it causes someone else pain.)
The news has been recently filled with people coming forward about abuse. Sexual abuse, religious abuse and so much more. The reactions are varied. Some people are cheering on the survivors. Some people are questioning why the victims didn’t come forward earlier....
For Religious Abuse Survivors – How to Handle Holidays-You Are Not Alone
For survivors of religious abuse, the holidays can be a Great.Big.Megaphone. …that highlights our feelings of not belonging, our confusion, our anger, and our sadness. As I talk with treasured friends, clients, and family this holiday season, I am reminded of the deep...
For Religious Abuse Survivors-How To Handle Holidays #2-Secret Holiday Triggers
It’s the holiday season! The most wonderful time of the year! YAY!! Right?? BellsChristmas carolsNativity scenesCandlesChurch servicesGifts These are great! Right?? For those of us who have experienced religious abuse, the answer can be a resounding… NO. How exactly...
What To Say To A Grieving Person That is Helpful and Encouraging
Since the death of my dear dad, there have been a lot of words. People say things to me and my family about his death and our grief. Every comment so far has been obviously well intentioned and spoken with love. My mom, my brother, my family and I are surrounded with...
Clean and Messy Grief
Grief. The Heartbreaking. The Horrible. The Hopeful. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty about the grief I feel. My story is this: My dad was a good man. He loved and supported me. He was not perfect but he was loved and respected by many. My dad was honest – the real deal....
Traumatic Response & Safety Post Election
A short word about certain psychological responses to the election (not a partisan/political statement): My job as a therapist is to help many strong, gifted, resourceful, intelligent people recover from trauma. It is happily what I do in my office every day. When a...
Confessions of a Grieving Therapist
(*Trigger warning* – cancer/losing a loved one) Grief. This year on June 12th my dad lost his voice. On July 8th they discovered a mass in his neck. On July 24th he was diagnosed with a return of papillary thyroid cancer in the form of several tumors throughout his...